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Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Woman Embarks on Epic Thirty Minute Expedition to Steinbach

August 15, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Marco Polo, Thor Heyerdahl, Sir Francis Drake – these names are synonymous with exploration and adventure. Today we can add the name Alison Becker to the list, the daring young woman who, when visiting […]

Unger Suspicion

New Survey Suggests 8 out of 10 People Cannot Identify the Man in the Rio Statue

August 14, 2016 Andrew

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL A recent New York Times survey on cultural literacy suggests that the vast majority of people have ‘no freakin’ clue’ who sits atop Corcovado Mountain in Rio de Janeiro. The survey showed […]

Unger Conviction

Woman Stocks Up on Fungal Cream Prior to Foot Washing Service

August 13, 2016 Andrew

MORDEN, MB While some Christian denominations view washing of feet as a symbolic gesture, Mennonites have traditionally taken the commandment literally, and many churches hold services dedicated to the spreading of humility and foot fungi. In […]

Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau Confuses Yerba Mate for Marijuana

August 12, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB On a recent visit to the small Mennonite city of Steinbach, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who was elected last fall on a promise to legalize marijuana, mistook a yerba mate gourd offered to him […]

Unger Games

Alex Rodriguez To Bring Disgrace to Baseball One Last Time Today

August 12, 2016 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY After a long storied career as baseball’s most notable scumbag, convicted cheater Alex Rodriguez will hang up his cleats on Friday, as fans gather at Yankee Stadium to say “good riddance” to professional […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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