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Unger Games

Winnipeg Blue Bombers to Relocate to Buffalo

November 18, 2024 Andrew

BUFFALO, NY After shitting the bed in the Grey Cup for three straight seasons, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers announced plans to move the entire team to the city of Buffalo, New York. “I prefer buffalo […]

Unger Games

Taylor Swift Takes the Stage Wearing Blue Bombers Jersey

November 17, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON International pop superstar Taylor Swift took to the stage in Toronto last night wearing a Winnipeg Blue Bombers jersey, apparently her boyfriend’s favourite team. “I’m not sure if this is good luck or […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Swifties to Exchange ‘Frintschoft’ Bracelets this Weekend

November 16, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Dozens of Mennonite Swifties have defied church orders and travelled from as far away as Aylmer and Leamington to attend a Taylor Swift concert in Toronto this weekend. “I’m going to hear about […]

Unger Games

Mike Tyson to Fight Mennonite Man Named Jake Pauls

November 15, 2024 Andrew

FRESNO, CA A paperwork mixup has boxing legend Mike Tyson set to square up against Fresno area farmer Jake Pauls tonight. “Yeah, when I got the note in my church mailbox, I thought, ‘oba, it […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Player Suspended for Calling Opponent a Lutheran

November 14, 2024 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Colin Dueck of the Aylmer SpitZoats hockey team has been suspended until the end of the month due to a particularly heated chirp he threw at an opposing player. “He called him a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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