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The Daily Bonnet

Petro-Canada Introduces New Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners

May 26, 2026 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A new formavorscht-scented car air freshener has been flying off the shelves at gas stations this past week, with Mennonites throughout the region eager to have their truck cabs smell of smoked meat. […]

Unger & Thirst

Andrew Unger Celebrates 10 Years of Schmaunt Fat Jokes

May 25, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Author Andrew Unger started writing satire exactly ten years ago and in that time has posted more than 3000 fake news articles about schmaunt fat. “I began this project as a way to […]

Unger Suspicion

Ed Sullivan Theatre to Be Demolished and Replaced with Donald J. Trump Center for Free Speech

May 22, 2026 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY The historic Ed Sullivan Theatre in New York will be torn down this week and replaced with a $1.8 billion Donald J. Trump Center for Free Speech. “I’ve always been a very […]

The Daily Bonnet

Potato Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

May 21, 2026 Andrew

BURNS LAKE, BC Thomas Redekop, 54, of Burns Lake, BC was in for the surprise of his life after he cut into a delicious perogy only to discover the entire thing was filled with a […]

Unger the Influence

Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund

May 20, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The White House just announced this week they’d be creating a $1.8 billion slush fund, specifically designed to provide Trump and his buddies with a neverending supply of 7-11 Slurpees. “I’ve hand-selected a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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