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The Daily Bonnet

Pennsylvania Mennonite Woman Will Absolutely Destroy You on the Volleyball Court

September 13, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA More than fifty million dollars has been spent in the last decade alone trying to figure out the origin of the Pennsylvania Mennonite obsession with the sport of volleyball. So far, though, no […]

The Daily Bonnet

Highway 3 from Morden Makes Sharp Left Turn to Avoid Winkler

September 12, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Instead of going straight into Winkler, Highway 3 makes an abrupt turn north just as it meets Highway 14. “Typical Mordeners, always scared of a little dose of church,” said Winkler resident Mr. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Still Chewing the Same Piece of Mom’s “Steak” from 1987

September 11, 2020 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB For the past thirty years, Steve Kroeker of Kleefeld, now well into his fifties, has been chewing the same piece of overcooked steak his mom served the family in 1987. “I’m not one […]

The Daily Bonnet

Shenandoah Valley Erupts in Chaos After Sarcastic Comment is Posted Without a Smiley Face

September 10, 2020 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA The Shenandoah Valley is in chaos this week, after Mr. Gerber posted a sarcastic comment on Facebook and failed to indicate his sarcasm with a smiley face emoji. “All I said was that […]

Unger & Thirst

Snake Loose in Grunthal

September 9, 2020 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB The town of Grunthal is in high alert this week after fifteen foot long python was seen chilling on the table during faspa after church. “But, then it just went missing,” said Mr. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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