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The Daily Bonnet

“Don’t Put All Your Abes in One Basket”: 10 Mennonite Idioms

October 28, 2021 Andrew

Since the publication of Poor Obrum’s Almanack by Benjamin Friesen in 1732, these Abe-related idioms have become part of Mennonite discourse. They’re recited to children before bed and frequently overheard in conversation at MJ’s. Be warned, […]

Unger Suspicion

Jets Change Time of December 5 Game to Accommodate Faspa

October 27, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After it was discovered that the Winnipeg Blue Bombers’ home playoff game on Sunday December 5 was in direct conflict with the Jets game at the same time, it became immediately clear that […]

Unger & Thirst

“How do they get the cottage cheese in the vereniki?”: Mennonite Man Unlocks the Vereniki Secret

October 26, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Centuries of mystery have surrounded the Russian Mennonite delicacy known as the glums vereniki. Just how do they get the cottage cheese in there? It seems impossible. However, this week, local man Earl […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Consists Entirely of Just Kehlers

October 25, 2021 Andrew

GRUENHIMMEL, SK New records reveal that an area Mennonite church is made up entirely of just one large Kehler family and a few women who’ve married in. “No wonder they call it the Kehler Church,” […]

Unger Conviction

Sanctuary Evacuated After Mennonite Man Farts in Church

October 24, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON The entire west side of the Third Mennonite Church sanctuary had to be cleared this morning after local man Darryl Driedger audibly farted while the offering plate was being passed around. “The […]

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