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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween

October 19, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The local MBGC church invites everyone to dress up like their favourite movie character and come sit around drinking Papsi and eating candy in the church basement this evening. “We’ll be decorating everything […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Encouraged to Get Out and Vogt

October 18, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Municipal elections are coming up and that means Mennonites across the province will heading to the polls to Vogt. “I’m hoping the Vogter turnout will be high this year,” said local vogter Dave […]

Unger Conviction

Alberta Separatists Hire Mennonites to Show Them How It’s Done

October 17, 2026 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Days before the referendum, Alberta separatists have hired the world-renowned experts on splits and schisms – the Mennonites. “If we’re gonna split over trivial differences, who better than the Mennonites to help us […]

Unger the Influence

Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German

October 16, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Trump’s new press secretary lasted just five days on the job after appearing completely unable to string a few words together. “But as it turns out, she was actually speaking in Plautdietsch the […]

Unger Suspicion

American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian

October 14, 2026 Andrew

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA School districts across the United States have banned controversial Margaret Atwood novel The Handmaid’s Tale for containing “disturbing Canadian content.” “We have to protect our kids from reading Canadian literature,” said local parent Tiffany […]

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