Unger Suspicion
Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi
MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]
Unger & Thirst
Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store
STEINBACH, MB Area woman Anne Loewen, 71, was in the greatest existential crisis of her life this Saturday afternoon after encountering bags of frozen potato and cheddar perogies alongside the cottage cheese perogies she’s used […]
Unger Games
Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
BLUMENORT, MB Disgruntled Winnipeg Jets goalie Connor Hellebuyck is demanding a trade to the only team he’s willing to play for – the Blumenort Menno Knights. “We’re working on a deal that will send Hellebuyck […]
Unger & Thirst
Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe
REINLAND, MB Area man David Kehler, 51, renowned as something of a gourmand in the Reinland area, has just introduced new premium crackles. “We’re taking leftover bits of fatting meat stuck to the pan to […]
The Daily Bonnet
Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden
WINKLER, MB After years of heated rivalry, Winkler officials voted 6 to 1 in favour of renaming the neighbouring community of Morden as Winkler West. “We also were considering Englisherville and Shekjbenjeltown but ultimately we […]