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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Mistakes Huge Miriam Toews Crowd for Billy Graham Crusade

October 16, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. David Kehler of Kleefeld was in the big city on a Costco run this afternoon when he stumbled upon a massive crowd that had gathered at Grant Park Mall. “Look at all […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Needs Weekend to Recover from Weekend

October 15, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area mom Brittany Klippenstein was so exhausted from her Thanksgiving weekend that she now requires a weekend to recover from the weekend. “Thanks goodness we’ve got another weekend coming up,” said Klippenstein. “With […]

Unger Suspicion

Katy Perry Attempts to Make Out with the Wrong Prime Minister

October 13, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Pop superstar Katy Perry was spotted in what looked like some level of embrace with another former Canadian Prime Minister this week. “I don’t know what came over me,” said Perry. “I guess […]

Unger & Thirst

Silly Americans Don’t Even Realize it’s Thanksgiving

October 12, 2025 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN In a shocking turn of events, more than 300 million Americans went completely without Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. “There wasn’t even any pumpkin pie,” said Mrs. Eby of Kitchener, Ontario, who has been […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Signs Two-Year $25 Thousand Extension with Local Church

October 11, 2025 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Just days after Connor McDavid closed a deal with the Oilers, local youth pastor Collin Martens inked a two-year $25,000 extension with WestEast Edmonton Mennonite Church. “We had to wait and see what […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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