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Unger & Thirst

Demolished Winkler Tower Cripples City’s Schmaunt Fat Supply

November 23, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Just weeks after Winkler’s most famous landmark was demolished, the area’s schmaunt fat supply has all but dried up and residents are concerned they may have to resort to eating fruits and vegetables […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Boy Takes Girl to Church on First Date

November 22, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Nervous Peter, 18, finally worked up the courage to ask out Melissa who sits three seats in front of him in Mr. Epp’s period 3 Math class at WC Miller Collegiate. To his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Asks Doctor for ‘Tipping Exemption’

November 21, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Frugal local man Dan Kehler has just asked his doctor for an official certificate stating that he is “medically incapable of tipping.” “It causes me such angst to tip,” said Kehler, “and I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2021

November 20, 2021 Andrew

It was a great year for Menno movies! Mask requirements meant that millions of Mennonites could attend their local movie houses without any possible way of being identified by the church elders sitting across the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Lucky Mennonite Man Has Meddachschlop on a Wednesday

November 19, 2021 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Wilbert Goossen of Rosthern broke centuries of Mennonite tradition this week by having meddachschlop in the middle of the week. “Usually, Linda lays down with me for a meddachschlop on Sunday afternoon, and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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