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The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event

April 10, 2026 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB A misheard radio announcement about National Poetry Month had thousands of chicken and turkey farmers across the RM of Hanover unintentionally showing up to hear poet Sarah Ens read from her latest publication […]

Unger Suspicion

Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist

April 8, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC It seems the so-called ceasefire in the Middle East lasted oh, about, three minutes, which world leaders claim is actually really good and just part of the plan. “The only way to achieve […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet

April 7, 2026 Andrew

SPACE Mr. Dave Thiessen, amateur plumber from Plum Coulee, has been sent into space this week to unclog the Artemis II toilet. “When my Mary saw that on TV she said, ‘oba, Dave, that’s a […]

Unger Suspicion

Family Manages to Get On a Record Three Rides During Weeklong Trip to Disney

April 6, 2026 Andrew

ORLANDO, FL The Kehlers of Mountain Lake, Minnesota have set a new record this week in Disneyworld after managing to get on three whole rides during there week-long trip. “We got in line on Monday […]

Unger Games

Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville

April 5, 2026 Andrew

TABER, AB The local arena in Taber, Alberta is getting a major upgrade after winning Kraft Hockeyville this week. “We’ve been flooding the rink with leftover schmaunt fat for years,” said arena manager Susie Plett. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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