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Unger Games

Angry Canadian Trucker Mistaken for Soccer Fan

March 30, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON An angry Canadian trucker who had just returned home to southern Manitoba after attending the rally in Ottawa, was mistaken for a diehard soccer fan this week. “Go Canada Go!” shouted local soccer […]

Unger Suspicion

Shocking! Man in Camo Shorts Not Even in the Military

March 29, 2022 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Area accountant Gord Peters was seen in a local Walmart wearing a pair of camo shorts this weekend. “Waut de hunt! Those don’t look like military-issue cargo shorts to me,” said observer […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man ‘Conscientiously Objects’ to Watching the Oscars

March 28, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Citing his pacifist principles, Mr. Gordon Eby, 71, of Kitchener has submitted a formal written request to enter into “alternative service” during next year’s Oscar Party. “As a member of a historic peace […]

Unger & Thirst

World’s Most Innovative Mennonite Woman Puts Sweet and Sour Sauce on Her Farmer Sausage

March 26, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mrs. Ruth Berg has been awarded the ‘World’s Most Innovative Mennonite’ prize this week for her ingenious use of sweet and sour sauce on farmer sausage. “And instead of vereniki, I serve this […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Rebrands Spring Break as ‘Winter Break Part 2’

March 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In an effort to more accurately reflect the realities of the situation, the Manitoba government has decided to rebrand Spring Break 2022 as ‘Winter Break Part 2.’ Area students were super excited about […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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