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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’

March 27, 2026 Andrew

PASTWA, MB A local snowman was shunned this week for setting a bad example for the young people of the congregation by dressing immodestly. “There he is out in the yard without any clothes on yet,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Cancels Netflix Over Lack of Fishing Shows

March 25, 2026 Andrew

INWOOD, MB Area man Steve Driedger was under the mistaken impression that something called “Net Flix” would include a lot of fishing shows. “But alas, poor Yorick, there was nuscht,” said Driedger. “All it is […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba to Remove PST on Honey Dill Sauce, Premier Says

March 24, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There will be a major reduction on cost-of-living in Manitoba this week after Premier Wab Kinew announced they would no longer be charging PST on honey dill sauce. “On all groceries, actually,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

‘KPop Dueck Hunters’ Number One Movie on Mennonite Netflix

March 23, 2026 Andrew

VANDERHOOF, BC A movie about the Hiebert Family Singers has risen to number one on Mennonite Netflix this week. “The story follows the Hieberts as they face off against their rival gospel quartet known as […]

Unger Conviction

Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight

March 21, 2026 Andrew

VANDERHOOF, BC Pastor Dave pulled up onto the lot this morning for his marriage counselling sessions with the Thiessens only to find that the entire lot was covered with mysterious black circles and the whole […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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