STEINBACH, MB
Longtime Steinbach MLA Kelvin Goertzen announced this week that he will not be seeking re-election in the next provincial election. Instead, Goertzen intends to spend his retirement years singing tenor in a country gospel quartet, puttering in the garage, and playing competitive crokinole.
“Plus I’ll be volunteering a lot at the thrift store,” said Goertzen. “I hear they’re getting way behind in the denim ripping department.”
After 22 years in office, Goertzen has many achievements, including briefly serving as Manitoba’s first, and so far only, Premier of Mennonite heritage.
“I might see what Brad Wall’s been doing in his retirement years,” said Goertzen. “I hear that when you turn 55 you’re allowed to start greasing up the crokinole board and using a stick.”
Goertzen says he also considered playing horseshoes and shuffleboard, but says that after two decades as Steinbach MLA, crokinole was the obvious choice.
“I’m going to enter those high stakes tournaments over there at Fernwood,” said Goertzen. “It’s always good to have a little extra income in retirement.”
The top prize this year at the Steinbach 55+ Knipsbrat tournament is a dozen frozen meat buns and a jar of Mrs. Kehler’s dills.
