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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Golfer Spends Three Hours Looking for Lost Ball

September 22, 2016 Andrew

GIROUX, MB Area man Arnold D. Penner created a three hour delay looking for a lost ball during his afternoon golf match this past Tuesday. Penner, who is an avid golf ball finder, was not […]

Unger Games

Michael Phelps Spotted at Local Gravel Pits

September 1, 2016 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Just weeks after breaking Olympic records, world champion swimmer Michael Phelps was seen leisure swimming at the gravel pits just outside Grunthal, Manitoba. “He had a bit more of a beer belly then I […]

Unger Games

Olympic Fans Have One Last Chance to Cheer Against the USA Today

August 21, 2016 Andrew

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL As the 2016 Rio Games come to a close, fans from across the world will have one last chance today to cheer against Team USA. “It’s really going to be tough […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Olympic Dominance, as Explained By Dr. Freud

August 19, 2016 Andrew

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL The success of Mennonite athletes at this year’s Olympic games has come as a surprise to some, but according to Dr. Heinrich Freud, great-grandson of the founder of psychoanalysis, this Mennonite dominance […]

Unger Games

Alex Rodriguez To Bring Disgrace to Baseball One Last Time Today

August 12, 2016 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY After a long storied career as baseball’s most notable scumbag, convicted cheater Alex Rodriguez will hang up his cleats on Friday, as fans gather at Yankee Stadium to say “good riddance” to professional […]

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