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Unger Games

Unger Games

Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire

March 11, 2026 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB Days after arriving in Manitoba to film his latest movie, Taylor Swift’s inlaw Jason Kelce has decided to retire to a simpler life on the farm. “I realized that Hollywood is not for […]

Unger Games

American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey

February 26, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Moments after the US victory on Sunday morning, millions of Canadians have decided they no longer have any interest in the sport of hockey. “President Trump warned us of this very thing,” said […]

Unger Games

Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal

February 25, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC President Trump announced this afternoon that he would be awarding Winnipeg Jets/Team USA goaltender Connor Helleybuyck the nation’s highest civilian honour. “And that, of course, is that made up coal trophy I was […]

Unger Games

Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line

February 24, 2026 Andrew

TORONTO, ON It seems all the embarrassing defeats by Team Canada at the Olympics this year will not go to waste as Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced a plan to use all the unwanted […]

Unger Games

Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again

February 23, 2026 Andrew

MILAN, ITALY Just minutes after Team USA goaltender Connor Hellebuyck single-handedly won an Olympic gold for his team, he sent a message to reassure Winnipeg Jets fans he won’t ever play that well again. “Certainly […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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