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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

All Air Canada Flights to be Equipped with Screaming Infants

September 4, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Starting this fall, the coach section of every Air Canada flight will come fully equipped with a minimum of one very agitated baby. “It’s just one more way we can better service our […]

Unger Suspicion

Sandra Bullock Donates Gently Used Oscar to Local Thrift Store

August 19, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After it turns out that the woman she portrayed in The Blind Side may not have been precisely the character the film made her out to be, actress Sandra Bullock has decided to […]

Unger Suspicion

Avid Outdoorsman Spends All Day Indoors Wearing Bass Pro Shops Cap

August 17, 2023 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Area man Heinrich Wiens, 23, has a reputation around Seminole for being such an avid outdoorsman that he even wears a Bass Pro Shops cap. “And you can’t fake that,” said fellow hunting […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift Announces Massive Countrywide Tour of Toronto

August 3, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The prayers of Swifties across Canada have been answered this week after Taylor Swift announced a 6-date cross-country tour of the Rogers Centre in Toronto. “We’re sending our tunes all across the nation, […]

Unger Suspicion

‘X’ Rebranded as ‘PG-13’ for Sensitive Mennonites

July 30, 2023 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Realizing he had unintentionally alienated a sizeable chunk of potential users, X CEO Elon Musk has launched a new PG-13 App especially for Mennonites. “Rest assured, there’s not a single exposed ankle or […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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