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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Bob Dylan Set to Release “Even Slower Train Coming” Album

June 1, 2016 Andrew

MALIBU, CA After turning 75 this week, legendary folk-rock artist Bob Dylan has decided to go back into the studio and remix some of his classic albums so they will appeal more to people his own age…and […]

Unger Suspicion

Chewbacca Gets a Kick Out of New “Mom” Mask

May 25, 2016 Andrew

KASHYYYK, SOUTHWESTERN QUADRANT Wookie pilot and social media addict, Chewbacca, just loves his new “Mom” mask. “I picked it up at Wal-Mart,” says Chewbacca through a translator. “It’s awesome. It talks and everything.” A video […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Elected President of Ecuador

May 24, 2016 Andrew

QUITO, ECUADOR Local Good Samaritan Mark Reimer will be sworn in as President of Ecuador in a ceremony to take place this July in the small fishing village of Puerto Lopez. “I’m working on my Spanish,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Still ‘Feeling the Bern’

May 23, 2016 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Mennonite deacon and family man Larry Hiebert, 33, is desperately holding onto any last thread of hope that Bernie Sanders has of winning the Democratic nomination. Hiebert was at the front of the crowd when Sanders […]

Unger Suspicion

Battle Erupts in Winkler Over Prince’s Estate

May 23, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Dozens of Mennonites throughout the Pembina Valley are desperately scouring their ancestry books to find a relation to recently departed musician Prince. “I had never heard of him before, but I just know […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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