HOFFENBURG, PA A fringe Mennonite group promoting a “traditional pro-judgement pro-gossip” agenda has been gaining traction in the last few weeks due, in part, to an editorial in BreitBart and a series of memes with spelling mistakes in them. […]
WASHINGTON, DC Arms industry leaders met in Washington this week to discuss ways of curbing the growing wave of pacifism that’s sweeping the nation. “How the hell can we expect to keep the economy going […]
SASKATOON, SK A Mennonite man is facing considerable scrutiny today for sporting a beard that looks eerily similar to that of recently departed Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. “It’s just a beard,” said Ben F. Toews […]
WASHINGTON, DC In a press conference earlier this morning, NASA scientists have answered a question that has plagued Anabaptists since the early days of the Reformation: “Are there Mennonites on other planets?” The answer, it […]
LANCASTER, PA In reaction to the recent increase of people being nice and friendly and sticking to the rules, the predominantly Amish city of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, has decided to elect dystopian author George Orwell as […]
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