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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

DNA Testing Reveals Theologian Greg Boyd to be ‘90% Mennonite’

October 26, 2016 Andrew

ST. PAUL, MN After sending away for one of those DNA home testing kits, Greg Boyd, renowned author and pastor of Woodland Hills Church in St. Paul, discovered he was almost entirely Mennonite. The new improved […]

Unger Suspicion

For Some Strange Reason Canadians are Really Excited About A Foreign Country’s Presidential Election

October 26, 2016 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Canadians from coast-to-coast have been glued to their television sets this fall watching coverage of the upcoming Presidential election in Bulgaria. “Canadians can’t get enough of the bickering back and forth between frontrunners […]

Unger Suspicion

Gary Bettman Attempts to Move the Steinbach Pistons to Arizona

October 3, 2016 Andrew

GLENDALE, AZ Villainous NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman has laid out plans to move every Manitoba Junior Hockey team, including the beloved Steinbach Pistons, to small towns throughout Arizona. “We’ve already ruined the NHL by placing […]

Unger Suspicion

World Panics as Every Single Person’s Internet Browsing History is Exposed on Wikileaks

September 20, 2016 Andrew

REYKJAVIK, ICELAND People around the globe are in crisis today as somebody made public the Internet browsing history of every person on Earth. With a simple search, users can now look up a convenient list […]

Unger Suspicion

“Not Only Does the New iPhone Suck, But It’s Also a Sin”

September 13, 2016 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB While millions of people around the world clamour to get their hands on the latest Apple product, Mennonite leaders are working together with Samsung and others to convince congregants that the new […]

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