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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Pastor’s Wife Plagiarizes Michelle Obama

July 25, 2016 Andrew

NEWTON, KS A well-meaning pastor’s wife from Newton has come under fire recently for unintentionally plagiarizing a speech by First Lady Michelle Obama. While politely conversing at a women’s quilting bee this past week, Melanie Dunkel, […]

Unger Suspicion

Quentin Tarantino to Direct Bloodiest Mennonite Film Ever

July 19, 2016 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Controversial film-maker Quentin Tarantino is in southern Manitoba this week scouting locations for his newest blockbuster Dueck Unchained. “I’ve always been fascinated by Mennonites,” said Tarantino. “One of the extras on Kill Bill […]

Unger Suspicion

Chinese Government Calls for Strict 12-Child Policy on Mennonites

July 16, 2016 Andrew

BEIJING, CHINA Delegates from People’s Republic of China spoke before the United Nations this week asking the global community to agree to a strict cap on Mennonite families of 12 children each. “Everyone needs to do their […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Seinfeld’ Re-runs Totally Confuse Local Mennonite Man

July 14, 2016 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Neophyte television-watcher Abe R. Dyck of Kleefeld became completely disoriented this past week while binge-watching episodes of hit 90’s TV show ‘Seinfeld’ at his nephew’s home. “He’d never heard of the show before,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Comprehensive List of Steinbach Politicians Scheduled to Attend Pride March Today

July 9, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The Daily Bonnet has compiled a list of every single elected official in Steinbach who is known to be making an official appearance at the Pride march this afternoon. Scheduled to attend are:   […]

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