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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Introduces Strict ‘No Kill’ Policy for Mosquitos

May 28, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB On Friday afternoon, the Manitoba government announced a new initiative that seeks to address the growing mosquito population by employing hundreds of conservation officers in a new humane ‘catch and release’ program. “Here in Manitoba, we’re […]

Unger Suspicion

United States Signs $110 Billion Weapons Deal with Random Guy on eBay

May 25, 2017 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC From tanks and planes, to missiles and atomic bombs, the United States Department of Defense recently made billions of dollars worth of high powered military equipment available to “whoever the hell wants them” on Internet […]

Unger Suspicion

Drake to Read Local Funeral Announcements

May 11, 2017 Andrew

DALMENY, SK A local radio station has hired Canadian rap sensation Drake to read the funeral announcements while the regular host is on vacation. “We’re really excited to get Drake in here to spice things […]

Unger Games

Oilers Blow 6 Goal Lead, Lose 8-7

May 7, 2017 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Up 7-1 after 2 periods the Edmonton Oilers did what everyone was expecting and blew their 6 goal lead to the Anaheim Ducks. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said longtime Oilers fan […]

Unger Suspicion

Quebec Separatists Demand to Take Ste. Anne, Manitoba With Them

April 18, 2017 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC A sovereigntist group in Quebec, the Front de Liberation de Quebec and Other Parts of Canada, or FLQOPC for short, is demanding that in the event of Quebec’s separation from Canada, that tiny […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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