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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Drake to Read Local Funeral Announcements

May 11, 2017 Andrew

DALMENY, SK A local radio station has hired Canadian rap sensation Drake to read the funeral announcements while the regular host is on vacation. “We’re really excited to get Drake in here to spice things […]

Unger Games

Oilers Blow 6 Goal Lead, Lose 8-7

May 7, 2017 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Up 7-1 after 2 periods the Edmonton Oilers did what everyone was expecting and blew their 6 goal lead to the Anaheim Ducks. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said longtime Oilers fan […]

Unger Suspicion

Anti-Vaxxer to Marry Flat-Earther

May 7, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK When committed anti-vaxxer Bertha Epp met flat-earther Harry Froese on an online message board last fall, it only took Bertha two hours of chatting to know Harry was the man for her. “We both […]

Unger Suspicion

Quebec Separatists Demand to Take Ste. Anne, Manitoba With Them

April 18, 2017 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC A sovereigntist group in Quebec, the Front de Liberation de Quebec and Other Parts of Canada, or FLQOPC for short, is demanding that in the event of Quebec’s separation from Canada, that tiny […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Violently Tossed From Airplane in Midflight

April 15, 2017 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A Unified Airlines flight from Lancaster to Goshen was far from routine for one local Mennonite man, who was rudely removed from his seat and tossed from the plane in midair after it was […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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