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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Royal Couple Name Newborn Baby “Prince Corny”

April 24, 2018 Andrew

LONDON, UK Well, the secret is out! William and Kate’s newborn baby boy, and fifth in line to the British crown, has been named “Prince Corny” after William’s distant cousin Corny Bueckert of Rosengart. Weighing […]

Unger Suspicion

Nation Shocked as Canadian NHL Team Wins Playoff Series Without Rioting

April 22, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Tens of thousands of fans lined the streets of downtown Winnipeg on Friday night to celebrate the Jets first round playoff victory over the Minnesota Wild. Jets fans bucked decades of Canadian hockey […]

Unger Suspicion

Why Every Single Winnipeg Jets Player is Actually a Mennonite

April 21, 2018 Andrew

I’m not much one for conspiracies, but I think something’s going on here. Much has been made of the fact that Finnish superstar Patrik Laine seems awfully Mennonite with his beard and teetotaling. However, if […]

Unger Suspicion

Facebook Hires Nosy Mennonite Women to Collect Data on Users

April 15, 2018 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced Friday that he would be hiring Mrs. Edna Martens, 71, of Reinland, Manitoba and her nine spinster sisters to obtain as much information as they could on […]

Unger Suspicion

Here’s Your Winnipeg Weather Forecast for the Next Few Months

April 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It looks like an extended winter this year in Winnipeg. Daily Bonnet meteorologists have examined the evidence and are officially predicting whiteout conditions well into June. “No early spring this year,” said Daily […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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