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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Man Survives Three Days and Three Nights in the Belly of a Red River Catfish

September 9, 2018 Andrew

LOCKPORT, MB Local man Jonah Neufeld, 35, of West Kildonan was out fishing at Lockport with his buddies Darrel Froese and Joel Peters this past weekend, when he was suddenly pulled into the Red River […]

Unger Suspicion

New Improved Horse Gets Up to 60 Miles Per Carrot

September 7, 2018 Andrew

HESSTON, KS The folks at Hershberger Horses and More have been working hard over the past few centuries to improve carrot-efficiency in local horses and the results have finally paid off. With regular maintenance, their […]

Unger Suspicion

Like and Share if You Think People Should Stop Indicating their Agreement by Liking and Sharing

September 5, 2018 Andrew

Friends, Mennonites, countrymen, lend me your ears! For too long we’ve been told that the entirety of our self-expression is tied to our willingness to like and/or share stupid memes on Facebook. We are told […]

Unger Suspicion

Ken Ham and Kent Hovind to Guest Star in Series Finale of ‘The Big Bang Theory’

September 2, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Stars of the literal 6-day creationist world will square off against a bunch of fictional physicists in the series finale of hit sitcom ‘The Big Bang Theory’ later this year. “We’re so excited […]

Unger Suspicion

Morden Honours Local Star Loreena McKennitt with Totally Epic Corn Maze

August 25, 2018 Andrew

MORDEN, MB The city of Morden, Manitoba will be honouring its most famous export, celtic music sensation Loreena McKennitt, in the best way they know how, by building a corn maze in her honour. “Basically […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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