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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Winnipegers Rush to Get their Hands on the Cheapest Nosebleed Seats

January 13, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Moments after tickets for the upcoming Heintje concert went on sale at the Canada Life Centre, all the worst seats were gone. “You’ve got to be quick on the draw if you want […]

Unger Games

Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team Totally Destroys Slumping Winnipeg Jets

January 9, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB By the time the first period was over, the Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team were already up eight nothing on the slumping Winnipeg Jets. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Jets forward Jonathan […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Really Disappointed with Philip Yantsied

January 9, 2026 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Influential author Philip Yantsied resigned his position this week after his moral failings were revealed. The news hit hard particularly in the Mennonite communities. “I’m saddened by the news, but it also doesn’t […]

Unger Suspicion

Staunch Leftist Destroys Capitalism Aboard $60 Million Private Jet

December 21, 2025 Andrew

BOSTON, MA Renowned anarcho-syndicalist and fierce critic of American foreign policy, professor Noam Chomsky has disclosed his newest and most effective strategy to destroy capitalism–being whisked away in a private jet by Jeffrey Epstein. “See, […]

Unger Conviction

Kirk Cameron Reaffirms Belief in ‘Eternal Conscious Torment’ After Sitting Through One of His Own Movies

December 11, 2025 Andrew

NASHVILLE, TN Former 1980s sitcom star-turned-Christian apologist Kirk Cameron made headlines this week after questioning whether Hell is eternal. “But then I watched one of my own movies,” said Cameron, “and let me tell you, […]

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