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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Local Pastor ‘Fuming Mad’ He Wasn’t Invited to ‘First Ministers Meeting’

December 10, 2018 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC A pastor of a small town Mennonite church was absolutely furious this week after he found out he did not get in invite to the First Ministers meeting in Montreal. “What, so the […]

Unger Suspicion

Court Rules 69-Year-Old Dutch Man is Actually a ‘Whiny Little Toddler’

December 4, 2018 Andrew

ARNHEM, NETHERLANDS A Dutch court has ruled today that local senior Milan Ratelbrand, 69, is actually legally “one-and-half years old, or two at best.” Ratelbrand had sued the government to have his age lowered by […]

Unger Suspicion

Elderly Mennonite Woman is Lone Surviving Member of ‘Sutera Twins Fan Club’

December 3, 2018 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local woman, Mrs. Loewen, has been a self-described “huge fan” of evangelist brothers The Sutera Twins ever since they held meetings in the Steinbach Tabernacle many decades ago. “Oba, yo, I drove in […]

Unger Suspicion

Spoiler Alert: Simba is Pacifist in New ‘Lion King’ Remake

November 28, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA In an effort to clean up the violent image of the previous film, the good folks at Disney have made a refreshing change to the new Lion King movie. Instead of defeating the […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Woman Turns to Pillar of Salt After Failing to Apply Adequate Levels of Moisturizer

November 23, 2018 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Emergency crews were called to a scene in Kitchener today where Alice Goossen, 43, was discovered to have completely dried out and turned into a pillar of salt after failing to apply adequate […]

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