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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Man Gets 20 Years in Prison for Stealing A&W Mug

March 29, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A 40-year-old man from Winnipeg was sentenced to twenty years in a maximum security prison this week for stealing an A&W root beer mug back in 1998. “For years it was a cold […]

Unger Suspicion

NBC Gives New ‘Friends’ Reboot a Mennonite Twist

March 27, 2019 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Executives at NBC have announced the hotly-anticipated reboot of the hit 90s sitcom ‘Friends’. The new show, which features an all new cast from the Paraguayan Chaco, is called ‘Frintschoft’ and has […]

Unger Suspicion

Granola Shortage Creates Panic in Wolseley

March 20, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A massive granola shortage this spring has residents of the Winnipeg neighbourhood of Wolseley in quite the panic. Desperate residents met at an area United church to discuss the shortage. “Went to the […]

Unger Suspicion

Facebook Crashes; Millions of People Actually Get Shit Done

March 13, 2019 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA There was a surge in productivity across the globe today as Facebook and Instagram experienced unprecedented down time. “I can’t believe all the shit I got done today,” said local credit union […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Man Becomes Instant Millionaire After Sales Tax Drops By One Percent

March 9, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man, Mr. Klassen, of North Kildonan is eagerly anticipating the reduction of the Provincial Sales Tax from eight to seven percent this summer. The change will mean such a huge boost in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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