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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Entire Sense of Self-Worth Wrapped Up in His 14-in-1 Leatherman Multi-Tool

December 30, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Even though he rarely has any reason to use it, area man Art Peters, 68, never goes anywhere without his 14-in-1 Leatherman multi-tool clipped to his belt. “It’s gotten pretty bad,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Vote Now! Dutch Blitz vs. Crokinole!

December 24, 2022 Andrew

What will you be playing this Christmas? We’ve settled many Mennonite controversies around here. Jantsied vs. Ditsied, hymns vs. off-the-wall singing. Heck, we’ve even definitely solved the whole dunker vs. pourer controversy. But there is […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Tell if Your Christmas Tree is Illegal

December 20, 2022 Andrew

Oba, so these days even in Schteinback you have to know where your tree is coming from once yet such. You just can’t trust anyone who says, “Oba, yo, I’ve got a tree for you […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top 10 Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Mennonites

December 16, 2022 Andrew

Let’s face it. Gone are the days when a paper bag filled with peanuts is sufficient to satisfy the demands of a Mennonite child. These days all the city Mennos prefer socks filled with various […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Hottest Christmas Present This Year? Children’s Advil

December 13, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Saskatonians lined up outside their neighbourhood department store this week to get their hands on the hottest present of the season – children’s Advil. “I haven’t seen anything like this since […]

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