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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Refuses to Do Her Christmas Shopping Until There’s Snow on the Ground

November 16, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Ruth Peters of Winkler is amassing a long list of presents to buy, all because the lack of snow on the ground this November has not put her in the right mood […]

The Daily Bonnet

Andrew Unger Comes Out as a Swiftie

November 10, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After years of priding himself with his lack of knowledge about any other music than 1960s jazz, the tremendous success of a recent article about Taylor Swift has satirist Andrew Unger rethinking his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family to Dress Up, Eat Candy, and Pretend Not to Celebrate Halloween

October 31, 2023 Andrew

BLUMENSASK, AB The Ungers of Blumensask have been vehemently opposed to Halloween ever since a particularly stirring sermon from Pastor Ron back in the early 90s. This doesn’t stop them, however, from dressing up as […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Surfs the ‘World Wide Wiebe’

October 30, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB This past week, Jessica Wiebe, 19, finally convinced her grandfather Abe, 86, to go online for the very first time in his life. “He didn’t know how to do anything,” explained Jessica. “He […]

The Daily Bonnet

Snow Arrives Just in Time to Ruin Halloween

October 26, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Mennonites across Manitoba breathed a sigh of relief this week as a massive snowstorm has more or less ruined any chance at at decent Halloween this year. “Oba, my children were […]

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