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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Surly Mennonite Man Plans to Ruin Christmas for All the Children at Church Tonight

December 24, 2016 Andrew

TANNENAU, MB A zealous Mennonite man at the local EMBBM church will be taking time out of his busy schedule of handing out tracts to strangers at the mall, to stop and tell each and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Banned from Saying ‘Oba’

December 23, 2016 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A new federal law that forbids Mennonites from saying ‘oba‘ has come under fierce opposition from the Canadian Mennonite community. “Oba, this law makes just no sense,” said Pastor Art Harms of Leamington, Ontario. “Oba […]

The Daily Bonnet

Altona Man Begins Christmas Shopping Early This Year

December 23, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mr. Peter Sawatzky of the Altona area got a head start on his Christmas shopping this year as he rushed to the Altona 10,000 Villages store today to buy some fair trade coffee […]

The Daily Bonnet

Let’s Face it, You’re Probably Getting Socks Again This Year

December 21, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Every year at this time young Mennonites around the world anticipate the annual giving and receiving of socks to commemorate the birth of the Saviour. “It’s the most disappointing time of the year,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local City Councillors Propose Budget of $0 For 2017

December 21, 2016 Andrew

EAST VILLAGE, MB “Oba, stuff shouldn’t cost so much yet.” So said a local councillor at last night’s city council meeting. In reaction to the utterly startling revelation that “things actually cost money,” a small faction […]

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