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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

2016 Mennonite Christmas Shopping Guide – Ten Thousand Villages vs. Wal-Mart

December 10, 2016 Andrew

With the Christmas season fast approaching, Mennonites around the globe are faced with a quite the quandary about where to spend their holiday dollars (or guaraní). On the one hand, Mennonites are more-or-less obliged to get the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Blows Entire Paycheque at Cabela’s

December 9, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local father and outdoor enthusiast Peter Neufeld, 41, is drawing criticism from family and friends after blowing his entire November paycheque on hunting and fishing stuff this past weekend. “I really wish he would […]

The Daily Bonnet

Black Bumper Mennonite Develops Severe Chrome Fetish

December 8, 2016 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA According to his psychologist, it was sometime after an accident with an SUV that scuffed the black paint off his bumper, when area man Benjamin Horning developed his abnormal obsession with chrome. “Deprived […]

The Daily Bonnet

B.C. Relatives are Really Proud of Their Inability to Survive Harsh Manitoba Winters

December 6, 2016 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Mennonites across the Fraser Valley, many of whom once lived on the frozen prairie tundra, have gone soft in recent years and can no longer survive more than a few minutes outside their […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abe’s Hill to Become Manitoba Star Attraction

December 5, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A mound of dirt in Steinbach now sits alongside The Forks, The Canadian Museum for Human Rights, and the polar bears of Churchill as a Manitoba ‘Star Attraction.’ The pile of dirt known […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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