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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Grandma Friesen Totally Schools Grandchildren in Plautdietsch Scrabble Match

August 20, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Grandma Friesen, 75, handily beat three young grandchildren this week in a rousing game of Plautdietsch Scrabble. The match, which lasted just thirty minutes before the youngsters quit in disgust, was the first […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dodge Caravan Sets World Land Speed Record

August 13, 2017 Andrew

BONNEVILLE SALT FLATS, UT The Giesbrecht family of Grunthal, Manitoba has just set a new land speed record of more than 715 km/h (444 mph) at the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. With Mr. Peter Giesbrecht at […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Comes Home and Catches Husband on Pinterest

August 7, 2017 Andrew

WEST KILDONAN, MB Earlier today, area woman Susan Dueck was shocked and horrified to discover her husband using Pinterest when she returned home early from a shopping trip. “Donald, just what are you doing?!” exclaimed Dueck. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Entire City of Steinbach to Stretch Out Along Highway 12

August 7, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Eager to reach neighbouring Ste. Anne before the end of the decade, the City of Steinbach has decided to relocate all existing houses, businesses, and churches to stretch out for miles along Highway […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Things for Mennonites to Do at the Lake this Weekend

August 6, 2017 Andrew

I was in church this morning. It was just me and Pastor Dave. It wasn’t bad, but the sermon felt a little personal, you know? Well, anyway, since you’re all out camping, I’ve decided to […]

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