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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Province to Enforce Demilitarized Zone Between Morden and Winkler

September 17, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER-MORDEN, MB In order to ease tensions in the region, a mile-wide demilitarized zone has been established between the twin Mennonite cities of Morden and Winkler. The Pembina Valley DMZ will act as a buffer […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Bans Wearing Socks with Sandals

September 13, 2017 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON Disregarding centuries of Mennonite tradition, the small Anabaptist town of St. Jacobs, Ontario just passed a law banning the wearing of socks with sandals. The new legislation sent shockwaves across the Mennonite […]

Quizzes

What is Your Mennonite Personality Type?

September 11, 2017 Andrew

Are you the preacher, the rebel Menno, the shekjbenjel or some other kind of Menno? Find our your true Mennonite identity with this completely scientifically-valid personality quiz. [wp_quiz id=”559″]  

The Daily Bonnet

Young Entrepreneur Sells ‘Star Maps’ to Steinbach Homes

September 11, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Never let anyone tell you that the entrepreneurial spirit in southern Manitoba is dead. A 19-year-old local go-getter named Colin has just launched a brand new listing of celebrity homes in Steinbach. Modelled after the famed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Upcoming Hurricanes To Be Given Mennonite Names

September 6, 2017 Andrew

Whether suffering through blizzards in Canada or roasting in the Paraguayan Chaco, Mennonites are well-known for their love of extreme weather. As a result, the World Meteorological Association is greatly concerned about the number of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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