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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Tings Oncle Johan is Tankful For This Year

October 9, 2017 Andrew

BY: ONCLE JOHAN KLASSEN Today is the Tanksgiving and the Pradja axed us to tink of all the tings what we’re tankful for. At first, I tought, oba, nay, it’s yust too difficult, but dan […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top 50 Most Common Swiss Mennonite Surnames

October 6, 2017 Andrew

The Daily Bonnet doesn’t want to leave anyone out. After compiling a list of the most common Russian Mennonite surnames, there were numerous requests to make a Swiss Mennonite list. The problem was I didn’t […]

The Daily Bonnet

Police Seize Massive Stockpile of Knitted Hangers

October 5, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Seven Mennonite grandmas from Altona were taken into custody by authorities this Monday after a massive stash of knitted hangers was discovered in the lobby of the local MB church. It was the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Eye New Colony in Antarctica

October 3, 2017 Andrew

GRYTVIKEN, ANTARCTICA After running out of room and finding sin all over the Americas, thousands of Mennonites are now seriously considering relocating to the last un-inhabited place on earth: Antarctica. “The Devil found us in […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Top 50 Most Common Mennonite Surnames

September 29, 2017 Andrew

We all know Mennos like to have large families, but some of us are considerably more prolific in this department than others. So, what are the most common Dutch/Prussian/ “Low German” Mennonite surnames? Let’s have […]

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