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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Quickly Cleans the House So Guests Don’t Learn the Truth

March 8, 2025 Andrew

ROSENORT MB When the Sawatzkys visit the Pletts, they’re always impressed with how immaculate everything is. The floors are spotless, the toilet bowl is glistening, there’s not a speck of dust anywhere. “I don’t know […]

The Daily Bonnet

Your 2025 Mennonite Oscar Nominees

March 2, 2025 Andrew

It’s that time of year again once yet. The Oscars! Well, of course, as Mennonite we don’t watch movies, except we all know Onkel Oscar who owns a TV behind the barn out back and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Excited for New ‘Nut Kroeker’ Ballet

February 28, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After centuries of strict opposition to dancing of any sort, a new radical sect of Mennonites is set to perform the world’s first Anabaptist ballet – the Nut Kroeker. “It will surely become […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Winkler Costco to Open Up on West End of Winnipeg

February 16, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Winkler is finally getting its own Costco store, which will be conveniently located just an hour and a half away in Winnipeg. “Finally, Winkler’s getting a Costco!” proclaimed local man John Penner. “It’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Welcomes New Law Firm ‘Friesen Froese Harder’

February 6, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites across Manitoba are excited about the new law firm Friesen Froese Harder that just opened up this week on Henderson Highway. “It was minus 35 on the day of our grand opening,” […]

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