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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Kids Forced to Recite Poem in Order to Get Christmas Present

December 17, 2024 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Young Steven Froese of Rosetown found himself without a poem or Bible verse to share at the gathering this Christmas, which resulted in the six-year-old going home completely empty handed. “Ugh, I guess […]

The Daily Bonnet

MCC Superfans Now Known as ‘Thrifties’

November 30, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Thousands of enthusiastic shoppers gathered at their local MCC store this week to share a few hugs, exchange friendship bracelets, and get their hands on some gently used denim skirts. They’re known as […]

The Daily Bonnet

Swear Words Discovered in Rudy Wiebe Novel

November 29, 2024 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Church librarian Margaret Pankratz nearly fainted this afternoon after discovering several “f bombs” and a few “a words” in a copy of the Rudy Wiebe classic The Blue Mountains of China that she […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesens Blamed for Manitoba’s Harsh Winters

November 28, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A recent study showed that Friesen was the most common surname in Manitoba, beating out such favourites as Wiebe, Klassen, and even Smith. The study came as no surprise for local meteorologists who […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Successfully Convinces Husband to Leave the House

November 23, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After months of incessant requests, area woman Anne Peters finally convinced her husband Donald to leave the house and take her to Chuck’s Roadhouse or something for once. “That man has spent every […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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