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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Jantsied Extends Border Closure with Ditsied

December 17, 2020 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB After receiving pressure from the authoritarian regime over in Jantsied, government officials in neutral Rosenort have extended the border closure between the two warring nations. “The iron curtain between between Jantsied and Ditsied […]

The Daily Bonnet

2020 Knipsbrat League Standings

December 16, 2020 Andrew

The 2020 Co-Ed Knipsbrat League is in full swing and with just a few regular seasons matches remaining, the top pairs are vying for the post-season. Let’s have a look at the standings as we […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2020

December 15, 2020 Andrew

Hollywood took quite the hit in 2020 with theatres closed for much of the year. For Mennonites, however, who fear nothing more than to be seen entering a movie theatre, 2020 was a blessing. With […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Dollar Donation in 1987 Leads to Lifetime of Junk Mail from Local Charity

December 14, 2020 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS A trivial donation in the late 80s has led to a lifetime of junk mail for a Goessel, Kansas couple. “Ugh, Henry, here it is again,” said Mrs. Friesen, sorting through her junk […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mannanite Man Still Searching for the ‘Alf on the Shalf’

December 12, 2020 Andrew

TABER, AB “Mannanites” love their Christmas traditions from tutes to plumemoos and everything in between. In recent years, however, the holiday traditions have modernized a little. “I really look farward to waking ups avery marning […]

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