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Unger the Influence

Unger Suspicion

Local Reeve to be Vaccinated Against Wacko Conspiracy Theories

December 11, 2020 Andrew

SCHRATJLIJCH, MB An area reeve will be first in line to receive the new vaccine that protects individuals from wacko conspiracy theories and believing whatever they read on the Internet. “The vaccine takes two doses […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach “Most Generous Community in Canada” Once Again After Surge in Covid Fines

November 9, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Steinbachers are known across Canada for their generosity, often topping the list of largest charitable donations per capita. This spirit of generosity appears to continue, this week, as thousands of Steinbachers have each […]

The Daily Bonnet

GCers Feeling Left Out of ‘Restart Mennonite Brethren’ Campaign

October 28, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Mennonite Church Canada members across Manitoba are a little miffed at the provincial government for seemingly giving all their time and resources to restarting the Mennonite Brethrens. “If you ask me, […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift Endorses One of Her Ex-Boyfriends for President

October 9, 2020 Andrew

WEST READING, PA Perpetually heartbroken singer-songwriter Taylor Swift has weighed into the political realm this week and endorsed “a young man who broke my heart years ago” for President. “Although Dillon is not actually on […]

Unger Suspicion

“Fearless” Man Refuses to Wear a Mask But Absolutely Petrified to Enter a Grocery Store Without His Gun

August 25, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Janzen, 41, of Seminole, laughs every time he sees those “sheeple” wearing their silly masks all over the place. Janzen is a very brave man who trusts only in the Lord and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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