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Unger the Influence

Unger Suspicion

Andrew Scheer Hoping to Become Canada’s First Schekjbenjel Prime Minister

September 30, 2019 Andrew

REGINA, SK The 2019 Canadian federal election is a profoundly historic one. Just this weekend, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer revealed that, if elected in October, he would become Canada’s very first schekjbenjel Prime Minister. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

Former Manitobans Now Outnumber Albertans in Alberta

September 23, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB A new report from the government of Alberta indicates that former Manitobans are the largest identifiable group in the province. “There are more ex-pat Manitobans than Alberta-born Albertans,” said premier Jason Kenney. “We’re […]

Unger Suspicion

Shocking Video Emerges of Politician Not Being a Complete Douche

September 20, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A shocking new video went viral this week after it appeared to show a politician not being a total douche. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Mrs. Kehler of Ottawa. “The guy […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Replaces All Winnipeg Emergency Rooms With This One Bungalow in Transcona

July 12, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The provincial government recently announced an exciting new plan to shut down all Winnipeg emergency rooms and move them to this old “fixer-upper” they found in Transcona. “Let me tell you, this bungalow […]

Unger Suspicion

Seven Ways the Canadian Senate is Just Like Your Mennonite Elder Board

June 9, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Ahh, the Canadian Senate, a collection of old irrelevant out-of-touch people who somehow have the power to make decisions around here…oh, wait, are we talking about the elder board? Well, there are some […]

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