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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

MLA Caught Using Cell Phone Forced to Pick it Up in Wab Kinew’s Office

September 10, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Sources won’t tell us if it was Kelvin Goertzen or Josh Guenther or even Carrie Hiebert. All we know is that one MLA was caught using a cell phone in the legislature this […]

Unger the Influence

JD Vance Has ‘Cringey’ Visit to Mennonite Roll Kuchen Shop

August 26, 2024 Andrew

REEDLEY, CA Vice Presidential hopeful JD Vance stopped by in one of Reedley, California’s famous roll kuchen shops this week to pick up an order and win over a few voters. However, things did not […]

Unger the Influence

Concerned Niverville Residents Demand Meeting at 32,000 Seat Stadium

August 10, 2024 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB After the Niverville Heritage Centre was not large enough to accommodate the crowd of concerned Nivervillians this week, residents are demanding a meeting at Princess Auto Stadium. “We must have room for every […]

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Thrift Store Burns Couch Donated By J.D. Vance

August 7, 2024 Andrew

MIDDELTON, OH A local thrift store has only a short list of items it will not accept, including cloth diapers, encyclopedia sets and, now, apparently gently-used couches formerly owned by J.D. Vance. “Normally we can […]

Unger the Influence

Rolling Stones Announce New More Youthful Lead Singer Joe Biden

July 21, 2024 Andrew

LONDON, UK It didn’t take long for President Joe Biden to find a new job–lead singer of legendary rock band The Rolling Stones. “You can’t always get what you want and Mick was getting long […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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