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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Sound of Knacking Zoat Used as Mennonite Mating Call

May 2, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Young Mennonite men throughout the Grunthal region, including Gnadenfeld, Kronsgard, and Alt-Bergfeld, have been loudly knacking their zoat on the back of Ernie Friesen’s pick-up truck this weekend in hopes of attracting eligible […]

Unger & Thirst

New Bothwell Resident Arrested for Putting Processed Cheese on His Burger

April 30, 2019 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Local man Mr. P_________________, has been arrested and arraigned on charges of failing to use Bothwell cheese at a BBQ this week. “Not only was he not using the best cheese in […]

Unger & Thirst

Google Honours Mennonites with Farmer Sausage Logo

April 24, 2019 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA Every once in a while, Google changes its logo in recognition of groups or individuals who have contributed something noteworthy to society. Well, this week, the folks at Google decided to “honour […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Finally Returns His Empties

April 20, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After accumulating ten years worth of empties in his unfinished basement, local man Carl Toews, finally decided it was time to return them and get his 5 cent per bottle deposit. “Most Mennonites […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Could Recognize Mrs. Dueck’s Buns Anywhere

April 14, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mrs. Dueck’s buns are so easily recognizable that Mrs. Unger could immediately identify them at the church bake sale this past week. “She doesn’t even need to put her name on them,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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