ST. CATHERINES, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Ontario have joined Premier Doug Ford in dumping all the Crown Royal they weren’t intending on drinking anyway. “I use it for cooking or medicinal purposes only,” said […]
SCHRATJLIJCH, MB The Schratjlijch Gospel Church is inviting everyone to stay after church this Sunday for a delicious potluck, including raisin buns, mashed potatoes, and a delectable array of Jell-o salads and measles. “You’re not […]
WINKLER, MB Winkler, Manitoba, often called the Paris of the Pembina Valley, was the victim of a brazen daytime heist this week after balaclava-donning thieves on dirt bikes took off with Mrs. Reimer’s prized roll […]
GOSHEN, IN In a shocking turn of events, more than 300 million Americans went completely without Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. “There wasn’t even any pumpkin pie,” said Mrs. Eby of Kitchener, Ontario, who has been […]
OSLO, NORWAY Mr. Abe Klassen of Rosthern has just been awarded the top prize for the most delicious, most noble peas in the world. “Just look at those green plump peas, slathered in butter,” said […]
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