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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Family’s Been Eating Nothing but Mini Donuts for the Past Week

June 19, 2022 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB The Wiebes of Niverville have been subsisting on nothing but mini donuts breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the past week. “It all started at the Niverville Fair last weekend. I think we ate […]

Unger & Thirst

Fake Russian McDonalds Offers Limp Flavourless Fries Called ‘Putin’

June 18, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA After all the real McDonalds stores shut down this week, a new FakeDonalds is setting up shop in Russia and promises to offer a number of new menu items, including a variation on […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Offers Barry Trotz ‘Free Farmer Sausage for Life’ to Coach Jets

June 14, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local hockey fan Robert Sawatzky is so eager to get free agent head coach Barry Trotz signed on with the Winnipeg Jets that he’s willing to offer him ‘free farmer sausage for life.’ […]

Unger & Thirst

Abbotsford Man Spends All Afternoon on IQ Tester at Ricky’s

June 12, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Mr. Franz nursed a bowl of Rempel’s Farmer Sausage soup and spent the entire afternoon trying to get to the bottom of this perplexing IQ Tester at his local Ricky’s restaurant. “I’ve been […]

Unger & Thirst

Made from What’s Real: New Winnipeg Slogan Pays Tribute to City’s Heritage of Sausage Making

June 10, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB The City of Winnipeg has adopted a new slogan as tribute to the community’s long heritage of making really good kubasa and formaworscht using nothing but the most thoroughly-cleaned natural casings. “Some of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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