The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Penner Family Celebrates Cousin Peter’s Graduation from the Kid’s Table

May 4, 2018 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB The Penner family of Kleefeld are proud to announce that Cousin Peter, who had, for many decades, been considered too immature to sit with the adults has been graduated to the adult table […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

April 22, 2018 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local grandma Mrs. Agnes Wiebe, 72, unleashed the harshest punishment known to Mennonites this week by making her misbehaving grandkids chew a piece of soap-flavoured Thrills gum for a full fifteen minutes. “I […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Celebrate 420 by Drinking Yerba on Parliament Hill

April 20, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Thousands of Mennonite ‘Yerbaheads,’ as they call themselves, set up their lawn chairs on the steps of the Canadian Parliament buildings today to celebrate 420. Mr. Johan Dueck came all the way from […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Hands that Have Prepared It’ Feel Extra Blessed

April 18, 2018 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Mrs. Jansen’s hands are finally starting to feel the effects of having been blessed so often during the years. Thanks to Grandpa Jansen’s rote Sunday lunch prayer, which always included the line, “bless […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Charged with Distracted Driving for Knacking Zoat Behind the Wheel

April 6, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local man Colin Peters, 41, is facing distracted driving charges after being spotted by Altona police with a bag of Ronnie’s Original Jumbo Sunflower Seeds in one hand and the steering wheel in […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 108 109 110 … 140 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Mom Doesn’t Realize Her Son’s a Hipster
    May 23, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet
    April 7, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Tests Positive for Coke
    December 30, 2018
  • M.P. Reads Daily Bonnet Headlines in House of Commons
    May 31, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved