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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Bible School Offering Money Back Guarantee if Not Engaged By the End of First Semester

September 4, 2018 Andrew

FOUR MOUNTAINS, AB In an effort to boost enrolment, starting this fall, the Bible School of Southern Alberta is offering students a 100% money-back guarantee if they’re not engaged by the end of the first […]

Unger Conviction

Report: Shallow Repetitive Worship Songs More Pleasing to the Lord than Hymns

September 2, 2018 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A report out of the University of Southern Lancaster suggests that really shallow, repetitive, self-indulgent ‘Praise and Worship’ songs are a full 20% more pleasing to the Lord than the boring old hymns. “I’m pretty […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Uses Potato Sack Race to Determine New Pastor

August 29, 2018 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Deviating from the common practice of determining all leadership positions by the drawing of straws, the folks at West Linden Mennonite have decided to pick a new head honcho using a potato sack […]

Unger Conviction

Children Terrified as Puppets Launch into Fiery ‘Hell and Damnation’ Sermon

August 17, 2018 Andrew

WICHITA, KS Children attending a Daily Vacation Bible School this summer at East Wichita Mennonite were left in complete shambles after a seemingly innocent puppet show took a turn for the dark side. Instead of […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Publisher Releases Extra-Wide Bibles to Keep the Boys and Girls Farther Apart

August 16, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN The Mennonite Bible Society of Indiana is excited to announce brand new extra-thick Bibles intended to provide extra distance between the boys and girls at summer camp, Sunday School, and other church functions. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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