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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Young Mennonite Yells ‘OK Boomer’ During Pastor’s Sermon

November 14, 2019 Andrew

HUTCHINSON, KS Pastor Dave at South Hutchinson Mennonite was right in the middle of extolling the virtues of long dresses and suspenders, when Alexis Pankratz, 22, rolled her eyes and yelled “ok, boomer!” as loud […]

Unger Conviction

Poppy and Peace Button Wage War for Space on Mennonite Man’s Lapel

November 11, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON For more than fifty years the vacant space on Mr. Funk’s lapel has been quiet and peaceful. Sadly, however, a war for territorial supremacy has recently broken out between a poppy and an […]

Unger Conviction

Fight Breaks Out for Church Pew on ‘Peace Sunday’

November 10, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK West Saskatoon Mennonite Church’s Peace Sunday service was interrupted right in the middle of the responsive reading after the Wiebes came in late and demanded a spot in a pew occupied by the […]

Unger Conviction

Church Puppets Shock Congregation by Appearing Completely Naked

November 5, 2019 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Hundreds of parishioners ran screaming out of the auditorium at Westside Mennonite Church this past week, after a pair of puppets, Chester and Melissa, appeared on stage without any clothes on. The move […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Still Late for Church Despite Extra Hour of Sleep

November 3, 2019 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Despite have an entire hour extra sleep last night, the Koops of Mountain Lake were late for church and had to sneak up to the balcony where hopefully the elders wouldn’t notice. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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