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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Attempt at Singing ‘Silent Night’ in German Fizzles Out After First Line

December 20, 2019 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB The annual Christmas sing-along at the Falk gathering this evening became quite awkward after someone suggested they do ‘Silent Night’ in the original German. “Oh, sure, they were gung ho at first, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Accidentally Sings Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ During Handel’s Messiah

December 17, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man, and former ‘Hymn Sing’ star Simon Hildebrandt, 61, messed up a performance of Handel’s Messiah this week after belting out Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ during the famous ‘Hallelujah Chorus.’ “I heard there […]

Unger Conviction

Christian Man Says ‘Merry Christmas’, Nothing Happens

December 16, 2019 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Absolutely nothing happened after local church-goer Billy Friesen, 42, greeted a stranger on the street with a hearty ‘Merry Christmas’ this past week. “I don’t get it,” said Friesen. “I was really hoping […]

Unger Conviction

Elders Warn that Morden, Manitoba is Full of ‘Aufjefollna’ Mennonites

November 17, 2019 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Cousin Pieta of Reinland was spotted cruising down the highway to Morden this past week and was immediately branded as ‘aufaulle‘ by the village purity committee. “Diestchlaund, that cousin Pieta, heading to Morden […]

Unger Conviction

Young Mennonite Yells ‘OK Boomer’ During Pastor’s Sermon

November 14, 2019 Andrew

HUTCHINSON, KS Pastor Dave at South Hutchinson Mennonite was right in the middle of extolling the virtues of long dresses and suspenders, when Alexis Pankratz, 22, rolled her eyes and yelled “ok, boomer!” as loud […]

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