The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Deceased Man Has No Idea His Funeral Being Used for Fire and Brimstone Altar Call

November 2, 2024 Andrew

EBENHORST, SK A deceased Mennonite man from Ebenhorst has absolutely no clue his death and funeral is being used as an excuse by zealous young pastor Jim to emotionally manipulate the audience towards repentance. “Hey, […]

Unger Conviction

Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween

October 26, 2024 Andrew

KOLA, MB The local MBGC church invites everyone to dress up like their favourite movie character and come sit around drinking Papsi and eating candy in the church basement this evening. “We’ll be decorating everything […]

Unger Conviction

Divine Intervention? Really Long Train Prevents Mennonite Couple from Entering the City

October 18, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The really freakin’ long train on Marion Street last night was seen as a sign of divine intervention by the Ungers of Blumenort. “Ugh, I guess we’re not supposed to go to that […]

Unger Conviction

Long-winded Mennonite Pastor Blamed for Burnt Sunday Roast

September 29, 2024 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Pastor Dan has been called before the church elder board this week after a particularly long-winded sermon led to the destruction of more than a dozen Sunday roasts this past weekend. “Mrs. Kroeker […]

Unger Conviction

Bible College Sells Record Number of Engagement Rings on Student Orientation Day

August 28, 2024 Andrew

TWO MOUNTAINS, AB Two Mountains Bible College sold a record 47 engagement rings by lunch on Student Orientation Day this year. “And another 38 by mid-afternoon,” said school President Alison Giesbrecht. “It seems the Lord […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 11 12 13 … 94 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Ovechkin on Pace to Smash Gretzky’s All-Time Points Record by the Year 2055
    April 6, 2025
  • Liberals Update Passport to Include Sausages from Across Canada
    May 23, 2023
  • AGM Scheduled to Coincide with Most Important Game of the Season
    February 23, 2023
  • Formula 1 Circuit Expands to Steinbach
    May 19, 2016
  • Mennonite Pastor Enters Sanctuary Hidden in a Broom Cart
    June 28, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved