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Unger Conviction

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Long-winded Mennonite Pastor Blamed for Burnt Sunday Roast

September 29, 2024 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Pastor Dan has been called before the church elder board this week after a particularly long-winded sermon led to the destruction of more than a dozen Sunday roasts this past weekend. “Mrs. Kroeker […]

Unger Conviction

Bible College Sells Record Number of Engagement Rings on Student Orientation Day

August 28, 2024 Andrew

TWO MOUNTAINS, AB Two Mountains Bible College sold a record 47 engagement rings by lunch on Student Orientation Day this year. “And another 38 by mid-afternoon,” said school President Alison Giesbrecht. “It seems the Lord […]

Unger Conviction

Doily Proven to Be Authentic ‘Shroud of Menno Simons’

August 24, 2024 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO  No one paid much attention to the sausage-stained doily the Kehlers have been using for centuries. Until now. Researchers recently discovered that the sausage drippings and pickle juice could date back to the […]

Unger Conviction

Only Two More Weeks Until Mennonites Have to Go Back to Church

August 17, 2024 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Mennonites across Western Canada are enjoying their last two weeks of freedom before they have to start going back to church in fall. “It’s nice to have summers off,” said Erika Peters at […]

Unger Conviction

Church Basement Chair Recruited To Help Change Lightbulb

August 16, 2024 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN How many Mennonites does it take to change a lightbulb? Two … plus one of those wooden church basement chairs. For centuries Mennonites have called upon the wooden church basement chair to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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