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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Team That Wins Barely Half Their Games Clearly the Best in the League

September 6, 2024 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA The Phillies are in class by themselves this year after winning a little bit over half their games so far this year. “I’ve never see a team dominate like this before,” said baseball […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Hooked on Niakwa ‘Farmer’s Special’ Pizza

September 5, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB “Farmer sausage on pizza, yet!” proclaimed Joseph Kehler of Winnipeg the first time he discovered it 15 years ago. Since then, Kehler has been consuming the Niakwa Farmer’s Special every day, which has […]

Unger Suspicion

MBs Rip Up Supply and Confidence Deal with GCs

September 4, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In a shocking move this afternoon, Mennonite Brethren leader Jack Siemens pulled out of the agreement keeping the GCs as the most powerful Mennonite denomination in Canada. “We didn’t like how they were […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Gets Finger Trapped in Rolled-Up Slice of Faspa Ham

September 2, 2024 Andrew

FRIEDENSFELD, MB The annual Heppner gathering in Friedensfeld this week required emergency intervention after Aunt Tina got her finger caught in a rolled-up ham slice. “I’ve been warning people about those ham slices for decades,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Bible College Records First Nasty Breakup of the Year

September 1, 2024 Andrew

MOOSE CURRENT, SK It didn’t take until the end of the first Intro to New Testament class for Moose Current Bible College to record its first nasty breakup of the year.  “Not sure why we […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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