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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Anthony Bourdain Confirms Steinbach is ‘Worth the Trip’

June 26, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB In the season finale of his hit CNN series Parts Unknown, famed chef and author Anthony Bourdain visited the small Manitoba city of Steinbach and declared it to be “worth the trip, just like […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mother-of-the-Bride Insists on Having “The Talk” Moments Before Daughter Walks Down the Aisle

June 25, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After neglecting to say anything at all about the topic over the past twenty years, concerned mother Brenda Harms waited at the doors of the Steinbach Gospel Mennonite Church for her daughter to […]

Unger Games

Televangelist Predicts the Winnipeg Blue Bombers to Win the 2016 Grey Cup

June 24, 2016 Andrew

ROLLAND HILLS, MI Crackpot television prophet Dr. Jack von Empel has recently predicted that the lowly Winnipeg Blue Bombers, who play their home opener today, will win the Grey Cup in 2016. “I really like what […]

The Daily Bonnet

City Media Seeks Rural Folks Willing to Make Sensationalistic Comments on Camera

June 23, 2016 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Always looking for an entertaining story that paints Taber with a wide brush, media outlets from the provincial capital have issued an open casting call for any Taber folks willing to go on […]

Unger Suspicion

Hardworking Family of Russian Mennonites Offers to Replace UK in the European Union

June 23, 2016 Andrew

LONDON, UK Today is a historic day as British voters will decide whether or not the United Kingdom will remain part of the European Union. Polls suggest the vote will be tight and, in the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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