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Articles by Andrew

Unger the Influence

Frugal Mennonite Ladies to Make Quilts Out of Their Old Trudeau Flags

January 7, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Got an extra ‘F-ck Trudeau’ flag hanging around? The ladies at the Pembina Valley Quilting Society could use your assistance. The group is collecting discarded Trudeau flags, which they plan to scrap and […]

Unger Suspicion

Man Who Hates and Distrusts Billionaires Sure Loves Billionaires

January 5, 2025 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Area man Pat Dyck has had a strong distrust of billionaires for quite some time now. According to his frequent Facebook posts, billionaires are always up to no good, cannot be trusted, and […]

Unger Suspicion

Elon Musk Accused of Interfering in Local Church Board Election

January 4, 2025 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Recent winner of the 2024 Dunning-Kruger Award, billionaire Elon Musk has inserted himself into the political processes of nations across the globe. Recently, he decided to stick his talons into the most important […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Impressed with Such Large Portions of Such Poor Quality Food

January 3, 2025 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Area man Garry Kehler, 57, was very impressed with the huge portions of grisly disgusting “beef” he received at his favourite local diner Dave’s Feeding Trough. “Nobody else is doing portion sizes like […]

Unger Conviction

Fiery Pastor Finds Three Extra Syllables in the Name Jesus

January 2, 2025 Andrew

LETHBRIDGE, AB Rev. Jeremy Goerzen of Lethbridge is making waves throughout southern Alberta after discovering three missing syllables in the name Jesus, which he pronounces each Sunday, sweating roll down his face and Bible pounding […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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