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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Fiery Romance Ignites in Daily Bonnet Comment Section

January 5, 2017 Andrew

GNADENFELD, MB Days after discovering their common interest in Mennonite satire, Daily Bonnet readers Martha of Gnadenfeld and Abe of nearby Schönenberg decided they would meet at MJs Kafe in Steinbach “to see if this might […]

The Daily Bonnet

Meet Jessica, Winkler Area’s First Newborn Calf of 2017

January 5, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A Winkler family welcomed the local area’s first calf of 2017, born just after midnight last night. Little Jessica the cow was born at 12:08 am at the local Animal Hospital. She is the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Recent Crime Wave Prompts Niverville to Move 50 kms Further Away from Winnipeg

January 4, 2017 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB It’s close proximity to Winnipeg has always been a drawing card for the growing town of Niverville, but after a recent crime spree, the town has decided it will move “at least 50 […]

Unger Suspicion

Public is Shocked to Discover Quakers Are More than Just Oats

January 4, 2017 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA Thanks to some silly marketers in the late 19th century, the general public has associated Quakers almost exclusively with oats. What has been obscured with this ‘oatization’ of the Quakers is their long-standing advocacy […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Mennonite Boys Can Cook’ Cookbook Fails to Impress

January 3, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC After seeing ‘Mennonite Girls’ dominate the cooking headlines in recent years, Fraser Valley men Abe Fast and Arnold Doerksen decided they could make their own cookbook, too. “Oba, if those girls can cook, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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