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Articles by Andrew

Unger the Influence

British Columbia Still Counting their Vogts

October 21, 2024 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC Elections BC released an initial Vogt count this weekend, but the full results will not be known until all the Vogts are counted. “I think there’s a whole bunch of Vogts in Abbotsford […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Drives All the Way to Grand Forks for Chick-fil-A … On a Sunday

October 20, 2024 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND The Broesky family of Mitchell, Manitoba loaded up the minivan this morning for what they hoped would be a lovely afternoon outing in Grand Forks. Unfortunately for the Broeskys, they had to […]

Unger Conviction

Divine Intervention? Really Long Train Prevents Mennonite Couple from Entering the City

October 18, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The really freakin’ long train on Marion Street last night was seen as a sign of divine intervention by the Ungers of Blumenort. “Ugh, I guess we’re not supposed to go to that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Celebrates 150 Sinless Years

October 17, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Steinbach, Manitoba was settled by 18 righteous and pure Mennonite families some 150 years ago, and after all this time the community has managed to remain completely sinless. “We made it. We finally […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg to Relocate Trains to Keep Out Worldly Influences

October 16, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Mennonites of southern Manitoba had it all figured out 150 years ago it seems. The City of Winnipeg is now considering the possibility of moving the rail yards out of the city. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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