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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Eagerly Anticipates Spanish Man’s Arrival

April 9, 2017 Andrew

STRASSBURG, MB Members of a tiny church in Strassburg, Manitoba have been laying out palm branches on the street in anticipation of the arrival of Winnipeg resident and estate lawyer Jesus Hernandez. “I can’t believe Jesus […]

Unger Suspicion

Perhaps the Most Important Words Ever Written About War…

April 8, 2017 Andrew

This isn’t satire: “WAR is a racket. It always has been. It is possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable, surely the most vicious. It is the only one international in scope. It is the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Gangs of Rebellious Seniors Invade Steinbach on Their ‘Kick Ass Harleys’

April 8, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Ever since the snow melted this spring, mobility scooters have been out in full force in Steinbach, as gangs of wily Mennonite seniors take over the city. “We were too badass for the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Accidentally Ventures Into Osborne Village

April 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Petey and Aganetha Hiebert of Altona, Manitoba found themselves in the “den of iniquity” after a GPS error led them to the Osborne Village neighbourhood of Winnipeg. “Oba, nay! Would you look at […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Pothole Swallows Entire Mennonite Family

April 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After more than a week of searching, a local Mennonite family has been declared ‘officially lost’ after their horse and buggy plummeted into a gigantic pothole on Henderson Highway at the end of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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