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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba Man Prepares Ark for Annual Spring Thaw

March 16, 2017 Andrew

ST. CRISTOPHE, MB Local man Dale B. Unrau, 52, is busy getting his ark into tip-top shape for the annual spring melt. As temperatures rise, so does the risk of turning southern Manitoba into a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grandpa Regales Youngsters With Tales of the Cash and Carry Toilet

March 15, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB At a family gathering this past week, Grandpa Loewen, 72, was generous with his graphic stories of the primitive toilet he had to use to as a child. Once he had a few […]

Unger & Thirst

Fancy Mennonite Restaurant Offers $200 21-course Tasting Menu

March 14, 2017 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Noted Mennonite chef and restauranteur Joël Ramsay Klassen has elevated Mennonite cuisine to new levels with his Madison Park restaurant Le Scheen Aufdank, which offers an extensive tasting menu featuring molecularized versions of popular […]

The Daily Bonnet

Silly Local Man Finally Removes His Christmas Lights

March 13, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Arthur P. Toews, 62, shocked all his neighbours this past weekend by finally removing his Christmas lights. Toews was spotted on his ladder by his neighbour Mr. Friesen from across the street. […]

Unger Conviction

Thousands of Mennonites Miss Church Due to Time Change

March 12, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Mennonite churches across North America were half full this morning as thousands of church-goers slept in due to the time change. “My first thought, as it always is whenever attendance is low was, ‘oh, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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