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Articles by Andrew

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Dozens of MPs Come Forward During House of Commons Altar Call

April 18, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Not wanting to miss an opportunity to spread the Good News, back bench opposition MP Pete Friesen of Saskatchewan stood up during Question Period this past week and invited everyone to come forward and confess their […]

The Daily Bonnet

60% of Manitobans Claim to be Cousins of Jonathan Toews

April 17, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A new poll shows that just over 60% of the Manitoba population claims to be related to NHL star Jonathan Toews. “When you’ve got someone as famous as Jonathan Toews, suddenly everyone and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Henry Reimer to Move to the Corner of Henry and Reimer

April 17, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Thanks to a new Steinbach law, residents will now be allowed to inhabit the street corners that match their names. First to take advantage of this new law was Henry Reimer, 71, formerly […]

Unger & Thirst

Pastor Shortens Sermon to Allow More Time to Eat Paska Buns

April 16, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Pastor Dave at East Winkler EBMC church decided to cut his Easter sermon short this morning in order to allow his eager parishioners more time to gorge themselves on delicious Mennonite paska buns. “I figured […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Violently Tossed From Airplane in Midflight

April 15, 2017 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A Unified Airlines flight from Lancaster to Goshen was far from routine for one local Mennonite man, who was rudely removed from his seat and tossed from the plane in midair after it was […]

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